Lifestyle

Lifestyle, Lifestyle, Lifestyle

TODAY… Marks the One-Year Anniversary of the ‘You Could Do Worse’ CBC Article

Some would say resurrecting our ‘You Could Do Worse’ story on the same day of Christ’s resurrection would be highly offensive, but chances are if you read my articles, you’re not easily offended anyways. So, what have Tristan and I been up to since being co-fired over our perfectly compliant marketing campaigns? 1. We have been organically […]
Boss Babes and Squatter’s Rights (what you need to know before it’s too late!)

Manufactured reports show that boss babes living in Ontario could be targeted by villainous boss-anizers. These malicious malefactors are using flirtatious mind games to gain property ownership via squatter’s rights. If you’re a boss babe, don’t fall victim to their lustful schemes; read this article! WHAT IS A BOSS BABE? The boss babe is genuine, […]
Share the Health: 11 Health Benefits to Homeownership (#11 will surely twizzle your twirler!)

Check out what these fine fettle mavens are saying about your health… 1. Counts as Exercise (SOURCE: Jacques Strap PhD, Northsouthern University) Homeownership bumps up your heart rate and uses approximately five calories per minute, four more calories than writing a “my heart is so full” post on Facebook. Will it replace the calorie-burning stress […]
Lifestyle

The Two-Part Article to The Summer of Love: 10 Hot Tips and Cool Trips for the Lonely Londoner (PART TWO: Just the Trips)

Is your existence in London shackled by the chains of lust? Does it feel like your extremities are locked up in an iron tower, collecting dust? Have you been tied to a wheel and rolled down the hill of disgust? Are you waiting for the next hilarious sentence that ends with the word ‘thrust?’ If […]

Lifestyle TODAY… Marks the One-Year Anniversary of the ‘You Could Do Worse’ CBC Article Some would say resurrecting our ‘You Could Do Worse’ story on the same day of Christ’s resurrection would be highly offensive, but chances are if you read my articles, you’re not easily offended anyways. So, what have Tristan and I been up to since being co-fired over our perfectly compliant marketing campaigns? 1. We have been organically […]

Boss Babes and Squatter’s Rights (what you need to know before it’s too late!) Manufactured reports show that boss babes living in Ontario could be targeted by villainous boss-anizers. These malicious malefactors are using flirtatious mind games to gain property ownership via squatter’s rights. If you’re a boss babe, don’t fall victim to their lustful schemes; read this article! WHAT IS A BOSS BABE? The boss babe is genuine, […]

Share the Health: 11 Health Benefits to Homeownership (#11 will surely twizzle your twirler!) Check out what these fine fettle mavens are saying about your health… 1. Counts as Exercise (SOURCE: Jacques Strap PhD, Northsouthern University) Homeownership bumps up your heart rate and uses approximately five calories per minute, four more calories than writing a “my heart is so full” post on Facebook. Will it replace the calorie-burning stress […]

Lifestyle The Two-Part Article to The Summer of Love: 10 Hot Tips and Cool Trips for the Lonely Londoner (PART TWO: Just the Trips) Is your existence in London shackled by the chains of lust? Does it feel like your extremities are locked up in an iron tower, collecting dust? Have you been tied to a wheel and rolled down the hill of disgust? Are you waiting for the next hilarious sentence that ends with the word ‘thrust?’ If […]

Lifestyle The Two-Part Article to The Summer of Love: 10 Hot Tips and Cool Trips for the Lonely Londoner (PART ONE: Just the Tips) Hey London, are you new to town, single, bored and/or lonesome? If the answer is a gobsmacking “YES”, then I have some glad tidings: 2022 has been declared the summer of love! HOW CAN THIS BE? Thanks to a housing market extravaganza, the Forest City has experienced a surge in population and a splurge in […]

The Forbidden Two-Part Article That Will Sock Your Knocks Off (PART TWO: What Does Your Front Door Colour Say About You?) READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED This unauthorized article is “verifiably” accurate and will send a pulsating shockwave through your body. If you exhibit dud-like symptoms, you may break out in hives of disgust. COMINGS-ON BEHIND COLOURED FRONT DOORS It is truly astonishing how a door can unravel the salacious truth about your personality and lifestyle (whether […]

The Forbidden Two-Part Article That Will Sock Your Knocks Off (PART ONE: 6 Signs Your Home Is Exuding Swinger Vibes) Hang on to the loins of your fruit; we are going to explore two radical topics that have been subjectively banned by the dudbeats of real estate (you ‘may or may not’ know who you are!). These unauthorized real estate tips are imperative to helping you find the perfect home with the perfect neighbours. PROLOGUE […]

Lifestyle GOTCH THE GITCH? Top 10 Things To Love About Saskatoon (and why its Real Estate market might make your pelvis pulsate!) Why Saskatoon? Well, before we delve into real estate stats and hilarious innuendos, I’ll give you a breakdown of how this article came to be. Don’t go anywhere; I promise to make it fun and borderline offensive. “NEVER SAY NEVER” It had been 20 years since my hasty habitation in Toon Town, and truth be […]

Lifestyle The #1 Quality That Boss Babes Look for in a Man (Real Estate 101) There are important qualities that an ambitious woman will look for in a man: financial stability, washboard abs, and don’t forget a very expensive life insurance policy… but what’s the ultimate quality that really gets a head honcha’s heart palpitating? HOME OWNERSHIP. London is riddled with strong independent women that own homes, and are looking […]