Lifestyle February 6, 2023

Boss Babes and Squatter’s Rights (what you need to know before it’s too late!)

Manufactured reports show that boss babes living in Ontario could be targeted by villainous boss-anizers. These malicious malefactors are using flirtatious mind games to gain property ownership via squatter’s rights. If you’re a boss babe, don’t fall victim to their lustful schemes; read this article!

The boss babe is genuine, self-assured, gifted, alluring, focused, relentless and full of grit. Even the mere whisper of the word “boss babe” can motivate a slothful idler to take control of their life and make no apologies for who they are. The boss babe’s only weakness is a magnetic partner who mirrors their supernova prowess (which is next to impossible to find).

The term “squatter’s rights” is known in the real estate industry as “adverse possession”. The most common types of adverse possession involve fences, sheds, and driveways that encroach on a boss babe’s property. Potential scenarios that boss babes could experience include:

• Handsome hunks occupying pieces of boss babe land
• Steamy studs erecting fences on boss babe properties
• Attractive aristocrats continuously driving down private boss babe laneways

Now, for a guileful heartthrob to claim squatter’s rights, he must prove the following has occurred for a period of 10 years with no interruption:

• Actual possession of a boss babes’ property
• The intention of excluding boss babes from a property
• Successfully excluding boss babes from possession of a property

Watch for warning signs boss babes! Do not knowingly allow your unneighbourly bad boy to…

• Strut around your house 24/7 in a towel while holding a stiff… drink
• Wink seductively while erecting… fences on your property
• Drive down your laneway blowing… hypnotic and flirtatious kisses
• Ask you to leave your house for ten years (this is the #1 warning sign)

If you’re (s)experiencing any of these warning signs, you need to take control of the situation by:

1. Taking a cold shower
2. Contacting your real estate lawyer before drying off and warming up.

It’s not only the crafty coyotes (with washboard abs) who are intentionally trying to claim your property. Claiming adverse possession can even happen when it’s an honest mistake. For instance, if a huggable bear man makes an upgrade to his property thinking it was his, the law is likely to grant him adverse possession.

Now, before you get all pouty and cut Mr. Thirsty Thruster out of your life, you should know that claiming adverse possession has changed in the last twenty years. Ontario has converted most properties from the Registry system to the Land Title system, which makes it throbbingly more difficult to gather evidence required to prove a claim.

This article is riddled with witticism and if you haven’t already bossed in; it’s a clever way for you to learn the basics about adverse possession. That being said, if you’re a boss babe who really wants to put your A$$ets on the line (and get high on danger), try living in a conjugal relationship with a person who isn’t your married spouse for at least 12 continuous months!

Either way, when your relationship is disintegrating faster than a pair of old underwear, call a professional lawyer. When it is time to tighten your elastic waistband and attain property the old-fashioned way, you know whom to call.

Cheers to the boss babe!