Home Buyers! Listen delicately as leaves rustle through a panting breeze. If you hear whispers of hope travelling through the naked wind, proceed with caution as this may bend your ear to the brink of insanity. Those that fall victim to the belief that the heartfelt letter will trim the bush of competition, hack the perennial real estate root system, and help attain a dream-filled abode for under market value will suffer the consequences of its treacheries of deception.
The Letter in Theory (Buyer’s Perspective)
Buyer: “Dear Seller, I am a wonderful human. Please accept my offer at below market value, because I’m worth it. I love you.”
Seller: “Wonderful! I accept your offer at below market value, and I love you too!”
The Letter in Practice (Seller’s Perspective)
Buyer: “Dear Seller, I present you with this letter of deception. Sell me your home for under market value, and fall victim to my egocentric sob story. Please sacrifice your own financial well-being for me! Regards.”
Seller: “Nay. Show me the money.”
If a savvy entrepreneur proposes a new product or service to an already established company, an efficient proposee will ask one simple question,
“How are you going to increase my wealth, while simplifying my operations?”
The answer should be articulated perfectly and delivered in less than five minutes. After all, you haven’t proven your worth, and you’re lucky they are squeezing you into their bustling schedule.
WHAT IF? (NEGOTIATIONS 101)
Money is the ultimate persuasion. But just for giggles, let’s pretend this letter method could actually work, shall we?
If we have any chance of success, we must push the Humpty-Dumpty of status quo off a wall so high, that even the finest of king’s horses and king’s men could never reconstruct that egg-man back together again. Leave your censored thoughts at the door; let your imagination run wild.
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Submitting an egocentric letter is the most common mistake buyers make. Take the business proposal path less travelled, and ask yourself one simple question,
“How am I going to enhance the seller’s life?”
You will need to investigate and focus on their deepest desires. Only when you have discovered their most untamed fantasies can you pull on their heartstrings with a letter of persuasion. Push the boundaries and tantalize their senses! Provide them with an interesting trade that only a fool would refuse.
Allow me to offer you a few suggestions:
1. CHORES. Sponge baths for Grandpa, disposing of Dexter’s dog doo-doo, a topless carwash…the list goes on. Offer your services.
2. LESSONS. Language, music, love… share your skills and knowledge. Put forward free lessons.
3. RECREATIONAL PROPERTY. Own a cottage or a condo somewhere (s)exotic? Grant exclusive use of your home away from home.
4. GAME DAY. Possess season tickets to a professional sports team? Provide them for one season, unless they’re for the Detroit Lions.
5. POOF! Offer to make that least favourite in-law “disappear”.
6. BABIES R US. Some will argue that in this extreme seller’s market it is easier to create life than to purchase your dream home. Surrender your firstborn.
7. SEX APPEAL. Offensive to standards of decency. An indecent proposal.
Take heed buyers; high bids and firm offers win homes. Approach every multiple-offer situation from the perspective of the seller. The purchase price of today will seem like peanuts tomorrow.
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